14 things to never say to your partner if you want to make the pleasure last

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14 Things to Never Say to Your Partner if You Want to Make the Pleasure Last

Maintaining a healthy, enjoyable relationship—both emotionally and physically—requires care, communication, and respect. What you say during intimate moments can have a huge impact on the connection and pleasure between you and your partner. Here are 14 things you should avoid saying if you want to keep the pleasure alive and lasting:

1. “Is that all?”

Implying that your partner’s efforts aren’t enough can be incredibly hurtful. It creates insecurity and can diminish their desire to engage with you intimately in the future.

2. “You should know what I like by now.”

While it’s normal to want your partner to understand your preferences, this statement can make them feel like they’re failing or not measuring up. Communication and patience are key.

3. “Why don’t you do it like [insert ex’s name]?”

Comparing your partner to an ex is never a good idea. It can breed feelings of inadequacy and jealousy, and undermine the unique connection you’re building together.

4. “Hurry up.”

Intimacy is about mutual enjoyment, not just reaching a destination. Rushing your partner can make the experience feel transactional instead of meaningful and pleasurable.

5. “This isn’t really doing it for me.”

While it’s important to communicate your needs, phrasing it this way can be discouraging and make your partner feel inadequate. Offer constructive feedback rather than criticizing.

6. “I’m too tired.”

Constantly rejecting intimacy with statements like this can create distance between you and your partner. It’s important to be honest, but also considerate about how often you turn down physical closeness.

7. “You always do it like this.”

This statement sounds like a complaint rather than a constructive conversation. If something isn’t working for you, it’s better to express what you’d like to try or explore together.

8. “I don’t care about your needs right now.”

Intimacy should always be about mutual pleasure. Focusing only on your own satisfaction, or disregarding your partner’s needs, can make them feel neglected and disconnected.

9. “You look different today.”

Even if you think you’re being playful or complimentary, comments about your partner’s appearance—especially if they’re unexpected or critical—can be damaging to their self-esteem, especially in intimate moments.

10. “I need you to be perfect.”

No one is perfect, and putting that kind of pressure on your partner can make them feel self-conscious and anxious, which can inhibit intimacy. Focus on connection, not perfection.

11. “Why are you so sensitive?”

Dismissing your partner’s feelings or reactions as overly sensitive can create emotional barriers. Emotional vulnerability is often key to deepening intimacy, so always be empathetic and understanding.

12. “Can you just do what I want?”

While it’s great to express your desires, demanding that your partner meet your needs without considering their own desires can lead to resentment. Intimacy should feel mutual and balanced.

13. “I don’t want to do that.”

Being open and honest about boundaries is essential, but the way you say it matters. A blunt rejection can make your partner feel rejected, while offering alternatives or explaining why you feel that way is more respectful.

14. “We always have the same routine.”

While routines can be comfortable, constantly criticizing your intimacy patterns can make your partner feel as though they’re failing to meet your needs. Instead, focus on what you enjoy and gently suggest new things to explore together.


By being mindful of your language and how it affects your partner, you can foster a deeper, more fulfilling connection that keeps both emotional and physical pleasure alive. Communication should always be respectful, supportive, and open, allowing both partners to feel safe and valued in the relationship.

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